In a state of shock

Walking alone has never been an unusual thing to me ever since. I even love doing it. Especially when I am really upset. I prefer being alone —well, most of the time.
I really love doing it. But everything just turned around like someone has flipped the coin from head onto tail, upside turned downside. At exactly 11:00 this evening, we (together with my cousins) requested daddy for a midnight snack ice cream. I told these two younger boys (my cousin & my brother) that I’ll be joining them as they buy. But unfortunately, they did not let me and they just ignored me then they rode one bicycle. My brother is the one driving and my cousin just being carried at the back part of it. Because of my katigasan ng ulo, I still tried joining them. I never stopped. Never —even I wasn’t seeing them already. And as I was walking trying to follow them, I remember where they would go and what they’ve said they’ll go. It’s at 7 Eleven or Mini Mart just along C5 and C. Caparas St. Passing through this street at this late was never and will never ever be a good idea. Well, I knew it from the start but I still pushed through. Matigas nga kasi ulo. So as I was passing by the street, I was really feeling the tension of everything. I was freaking out inside. My thoughts that time were: “What if there’s a kidnapper here? What the f would I do?” “Drug addicts?” So what I did was, I pulled my pajamas (yes, I was in my sleepwear already) up above my knee so I could run fast if anything happens. Yes, I was really overthinking that time. So I reached the area where they could be. Luckily, wala sila. *note sarcasm* There was this guy who was standing and leaning onto the post behind him doing nothing. I freaked out more. Shet, am I going to die now? Or should I run to save my life? Sobrang intense I’m telling you. After seeing that my cousin and brother weren’t there and the market has already been demolished, I went straight home. Of course andun pa rin yung tension. So after passing through that (sort of) dark street, I saw my cousin Gladys and her little cousin Melanie. The first thing they asked me was “Dala mo ba phone mo?” and I told them I did not bring my phone with me. Obviously, they were trying to reach me through phone call since I left the compound without informing them. I literally just brought myself. So ayun, when we reached home, I hid from my father for I know he would just scold me for what I did.
PS. I feel like I was traumatized. Wala namang masamang nangyari sakin, but the feeling was there. Sobrang natakot na ako maglakad mag-isa seriously.
PPS. There 3was kind of happiness since it was just added up to my exp! lol
April 9, 2016
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